new idea:

bags knitted into the shape of dog paws.
ive been making home-made dog treats since i was a little girl- so putting those treats INTO the paw and selling them at local pet shop/supplies shops.

:D

id rather trade, id rather trade than sell tooo youuu

time to do a remix of a remix of "id rather dance"

but really... i want people to see me burn my money. thats probably why i dont have any money; because i dont care about it or like it. but i guess i need it. so thats why ive been whoring myself around east nashville trying to get jobs. i hate myself so much rite now.
ive decided to sew bones and fish on bags and sell them to pet stores with homemade cat and dog treats inside.
i am thinking of leaving my internship.. thought this was going to be a good thing but it looks as if ive attracted yet another demon.
i dont want to, i like everyone else there but im bored by it and turned off by this freak who keeps trying to fight. whaaaaaat hello im so non-confrontational. i think thats the attraction... the reason im bored is because i am at a point where i would rather listen than question. all of a sudden. if ever, its been a long time since ive been here. i feel that faith can answer any question that arrives. i wish i could just make art.
i took some amazing pictures of myself (thats why theyre amazing) wearing some of my bags. but even though they were on the computer, for some reason they just dont exist and wont upload. so take my word for it: i look good, and so do my bags, and i look good in my bags.

so surreal

knitting is a spiritual experience for me. its hard for me to articulate. its really intense, and today i learned i wasnt alone in thinking that. stopped by jennas today, she told me her girlfriend at work knits and told her it was really intense. sometimes its good to feel less alone in the tiniest ways.

the other knight i was knitting and had this sense of oneness with everything, because of the whole imagine it here, realize it there, one-step-at-a-time thing. something about the transferring to the other needle is quite sensational, as well. some rlly sxy pics comin soon.

will i ever be able to articulate the beautiful epiphany i have just had of knitting?
not right now, but i will soon.

the guy who i sold a bag to last week came back this morning. he said all of his daughters friends loved the bag, and to email him. so im gonna do that.
working on a bonnaroo bag for a friend, very specific. cant wait till its done.
cant wait to perfect the avery, also.
i was certain the hat i was making would be the one, but now im certain its going to be the next one.
and the one after that will be even better.
soooo tired. goodnight (favorite word)

G O O D N I G H T

thanks

i keep singing "he is exalted the king is exalted on high" in my head (not out loud) but thats all my brain is remembering so it is on a perma loop. im clenching my teeth, i cant stop. but rebecca is cooking, dinner smells great, and things are happening. got an internship at www.soulpancake.com and hoping its going to go well and become a good creative outlet. i got along with most everyone instantly. i wonder if they got along with me though, hahah.
and ive got like, 4 people who want bags and hats.
trying to get a job still.
ive never made a new years resolution, but im about to make a resolution right now:

give thanks, and be happy. try to let as much stuff that bugs you go as possible. (did that second sentence make sense?)
buy my bags.

brown bag

you can haz!

4 $ale!

well, that was quick

got pics and sold a bag.

pink one, $30.
small one still for sale.

i need to humble myself- i am no knitter. i am on the lowest rung of the knitting ladder.
im not gonna post anymore until i can put up pictures.

it is clear i need to learn to read patterns.
there is only so much instinct can do.
how much of what i say daily is a double entendre?

just think of thomas?

well, the new avery was a total failure.

im going to try again, though.

maybe i can turn it into a bag.. or reuse the yarn..

oh it is so heinous..

the most exciting part is: i have no idea where this will take me

so last night i stayed at the tullocks, but today rebecca called and said i could use her digicam so i came over here and she was having a brunch with two girls, for today was her day off. i talked to them for bit, but one, crystal, seemed so familiar. so i said so, and it turns out she is someone from my not-so-far past, the older sister of an old and dear friend who i have been thinking about daily, lately. used to spend alot of time together, not even necessarily speaking- we rode horses together. i have the fondest memories of her and her family.
it was wonderful to reconnect- but the most interesting aspect of it all is everything that had to happen to get me to this point. i never wouldve found sarah- she moved to florida.
my life doesnt gently curve, it makes sharp and sudden turns.
i told them i made an account with etsy.com, and the other girl, kirsten, said she loves to shop on etsy.
so soon, i will have a good online store set up.

this is SUCH the beginning.

the Avery

today i tried decently hard to get my hands on a digital camera to upload pictures of my creations. alas, as i only tried to get a camera from my boyfriends parents (no phone, cant get in touch with roommate) it was unsuccessful, for they cannot locate their camera charger anywhere and ryan and i wore down the battery taking pictures of ourselves a few days ago :)
however, i have here some pictures of the prototype for "the Avery". thankfully merrigay, ryans mom, took some pictures of her when she saw her in it.
here are some of the best ones.






these pictures are horrible; just meet avery, shes awesome, and ask her about the hat.

acheheh i was making a backpack, which once i perfect will probably my crown jewel and most sought after item besides hats, and i have put SOO much detail and effort into it... only to get to the point where my x-tra long needles arent long enough. so frusterating, im not sure how to solve this problem. fuck it.

im going to work on the new avery 

ronnie

i mis my kitty, i want to see him. i knit him so many toys. he misses me too- i can feel it! :\

i like watching the puddles gather rain,

but i need it to be warmer. i really wanted to take my knitting to shelby park. i dont mind the wetness, some of the best things life has to offer are wet, but i just dont really like cold, especially since im scooting..

i dont know what knitting is teaching me. 

the beginning of the middle of the beginning

when i decided to take up knitting in december, i thought i was going to knit a few scarves, get bored and move on.  little did i know that knitting was going to take up me.

after making about 6 scarves, i created this bag-like thing that was a chameleon of sorts. some thought it was a good drink coozy, others thought a sock. still others thought a mitten! one said a throw-away. the next thing i created was the "pouache" (still working on the best spelling for the pronunciation, its a word i made up). 

for awhile as soon as i completed a bag or a hat i gave it away to the person nearest to me at the time, or the first person i saw.

now, however, i am going to see where these guys take me. next weekend i am going to take a few of my completed soul-babies to a few art galleries that will supposedly sell them. i am also building an account through etsy.com, and anybody can purchase from their computer there, thanks to paypal

atm i am sitting on the couch/aka my bed at rebecca fullers house, the beautiful, intelligent and kind girly who is letting me stay with her for awhile. she is also a knitter, and a reader, and a movie and television watcher, and i think she is beautiful and i think i am going to do fine here. its nice to knit with someone.

i am a little nervous lately, and high strung. im going through so many changes, its hard to remember to breathe sometimes. plus there is so much uncertainty in the outside world lately. what is going to happen? what will my role be in the next 4 years? i am going to be so different then, and also 24. 

thank god for knitting.